Pay transparency is moving from a nice-to-have into a daily reality, and managers are often the ones left holding the questions.
With the EU Pay Transparency Directive landing in national law by June 2026, salary chats are about to become routine.
Yet, only 19% of companies feel ready, according to Aon’s Global Pay Transparency Study.
If you feel a bit out of your depth, it’s fine. A lot of managers do.
This piece walks you through seven practical tips you can lean on when the salary questions start coming your way.
Why can these conversations feel like an uphill battle?
Image Source: Lattice
One major factor is that many managers were never trained for open pay talks. This is a logical consequence of the fact that for years, salary was a private topic tucked away inside HR files and rarely discussed openly.
However, these conversations are now essential, as psychologist Britt Slief from OpenUp shares with us that pay is often seen as a proxy for personal value. This perspective positively impacts the ‘Equity Theory’, as employees remain motivated when they feel their input and output are in perfect balance.
Despite how important this is for a healthy team, the graphic above shows that only 33% of the managers in Europe (only 9% in the US ) are ready to talk about employee pay.
Now the rules have changed (with yet to fully settle), and while it requires a real mindset shift, the change can be a positive one for your team.
For managers, three things make these conversations tricky:
1. First, you might not fully understand how your company sets pay yourself, which can feel exposing when an employee asks.
2. Second, every conversation carries emotion, since pay touches on recognition, fairness, and self-worth.
3. Third, the focus of these conversations will also land on numbers, comparisons, and the gap between expectation and reality.
The good news is that preparation can take much of this weight off your shoulders. As Britt puts it: “When you are well-prepared, you feel calmer. This turns a stressful talk into a helpful conversation based on trust.”
Here are some tips to help you lead these chats with calm and care.
1. Show up as a person
When pay conversations come up, it can be tempting to slip into corporate mode and read the company lines. The trouble is that employees can sense this and the chat will lose warmth fast. Beneath what they say (and don’t say), they’d probably be asking themselves one simple question:
“Whose side is she/he really on?”
The truth is, being a manager means standing in the middle.
You’re translating company policy into something a human can hear. Same way back, translating employee concerns into something the company can act on.
When the translation works, everyone will feel understood.
That’s not an easy task on its own, but a few simple shifts can help:
- Share what you understand in plain words, not corporate phrasing
- Admit what you’re still learning, since honesty builds trust faster than polish
- Use “I” rather than “the company” when you can, so the chat feels personal
Britt reminds us: “People don’t connect with corporate policies; they connect with people. When you drop the ‘manager mask’ and speak like a human, you create the safety needed for a truly honest conversation.”
One of the many positive things about this shift towards open pay is that it can give you a real reason to drop the rehearsed tone.
And this doesn’t mean you have to rely on instinct alone. If your HR team uses tools that signal what’s weighing on people across the company, ask for them. It can give you super-useful context before a chat.
2. Practise the language before you need it
The first time you talk about salary openly, the words can feel heavy. Practising in advance can help – a lot! Try out a few phrases with a colleague or even in front of a mirror. Some lines that tend to land well include:
- “Your pay sits in this part of the range because of these specific reasons.”
- “Here are the things you’re already doing that move your pay in the right direction.”
- “Here are the things that you can do to move your pay over time.”
- “I can find that out and come back to you by Friday.”
That last one is probably the most valuable. You don’t need every answer on the spot. A calm “let me check and get back to you” beats a guess every time.
It will take some time to build this kind of conversational muscle, but leadership coaching sessions can help a lot. They’d give you a private space to rehearse tough phrasing with someone trained to spot what’s working.
Sharing from experience, Britt notes: “This is a form of exposure training. By practicing the questions you fear most out loud, like being asked why a colleague earns more, those ‘scary moments become much easier to handle when they happen for real.”
3. Welcome the questions instead of dreading them
“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.”
– Carl R Rogers
Carl Rogers and Richard Farson coined the term “active listening” in 1957. Their core idea was that people open up when they feel heard. Nearly seventy years on, the principle still holds, especially in conversations where trust is on the line.
So, when an employee asks a question about pay, it can feel like a confrontation.
But it’s almost never really about that.
A question about salary usually signals engagement, since the person cares enough about their role and future to bring it up.
The shift starts with how you receive the question in the first thirty seconds.
Listening fully before you respond, even when you already know what you’d like to say, does more for the conversation than any clever line. And a simple thank-you for raising the topic openly turns what felt like a confrontation into a collaboration.
What’s also important is that the first chat with a team member often sets the tone for every one after.
It may require a bit of patience and effort on your end, but your calm response can shape how openly they bring up pay in the future.
This is essentially what psychological safety looks like in practice – when people trust that asking a tough question won’t be held against them, they actually ask. Without it, salary concerns won’t disappear, rather they just move into hallway conversations where you can’t address them.
4. Know the legal landscape that shapes the chat
You don’t need a law degree, but a basic grasp of the rules will boost your confidence. Different regions have different timelines and obligations.
Here are some of the main rules shaping these conversations right now:
If your company has staff in any EU country, the Directive applies to you, even if your headquarters sit elsewhere.
If your company hires across borders, the picture gets richer. For example, the way payroll runs in the UK under HMRC’s Real Time Information system can look quite different from the rules a colleague follows in another country.
That said, most employees probably won’t know these details.
They’ll be reading you instead. If you seem grounded, they relax. If you seem unsure, they brace. A quick chat with your HR or legal team can clear up the specifics for you.
5. Pair honesty with kindness
Open pay talks can stir up strong feelings. Someone might feel undervalued when they hear the range, or surprised that a peer earns more.
Your tone shapes how the news lands.
A few small choices go a long way:
- Sit at eye level, not across a desk that feels formal
- Explain the why before the what, since context softens numbers
- Acknowledge feelings without rushing to fix them
- Slow down when the news is hard, even if it stretches the meeting
- Avoid filler phrases like “it is what it is” that close the conversation early
- Leave room for a follow-up, so they don’t have to process everything on the spot
Psychologist Britt highlights why this is so important: “We often have a strong ‘fixing reflex’ – an urge to solve someone’s disappointment right away. But you don’t have to fix the emotion to have a good conversation.”
You can validate someone’s reaction without changing the facts. “I can see this lands as a surprise, and I want to talk through it with you” is a powerful sentence.
Similar to delivering performance feedback, but rather than framing it around a single moment, you’re framing it around a longer journey.
6. Keep learning and adjust as you go
Pay transparency is still settling into shape across most workplaces. Even with the prevalence of new laws, many companies are still building their internal playbooks. That means you’ll learn things that surprise you, and your approach can grow over time.
A lot of employees feel their employer isn’t transparent about compensation. And that is a chance for you as a manager to step in and close the distance through everyday conversations.
Some ways to keep growing:
- Read up on how other companies handle pay communication
- Lean on your HR or comp team when questions stretch beyond your knowledge
- Revisit your talking points each cycle to keep them fresh
- Reflect after each chat on what worked and what you’d shift next time
7. Look after yourself in the process
These chats can be emotionally draining, especially when you care about your team. That said, looking after your own well-being is part of the job, not separate from it.
You can build small habits that protect your energy:
- Block recovery time after a tough conversation, even fifteen minutes helps
- Talk to a peer manager or coach when something weighs on you
- Notice your own feelings about pay, since they shape how you show up in these chats
Britt: “We all carry ‘money scripts’ from our past, you might project into the conversation. Being aware of your own biases allows you to stay grounded.” - Set a soft limit on how many of these chats you stack in one day
Managers who feel supported tend to lead supported teams. Talking things through early can stop small worries from building up, and a session with a psychologist through OpenUp’s mental health coaching gives you a calm space to reset before the next big chat.
The chat that gets easier
Pay transparency conversations may feel unpleasant at first, yet they’re also a chance to build deeper trust with your team. You don’t need to have every answer on day one. What you need is a willingness to learn the basics, the courage to say “I’ll get back to you” when needed, and the care to listen well.
Lean on your HR team, practise the language, and give yourself room to grow into these chats. Over time, what feels uncomfortable today can become one of the most meaningful parts of your role.
| This article is written by guest author Erica Davies | |
| Erica is a content writer at Employ Borderless and a freelance storyteller. She specialises in remote work, compliance, and marketing automation. With a background in mass tort cases, Erica brings sharp research skills and a love for clear communication to every project. Off the clock, she’s diving into new tech, industry insights, or enjoying a great book with coffee in hand. |
