An informal care provider, also known as an unpaid carer, provides care to a family member, friend, loved one, or acquaintance who cannot cope without their support. This care is usually unpaid and is often provided to people with disabilities, chronic illnesses, mental well-being challenges, or addictions. Informal care comes in many forms: you might support or look after a loved one, and provide companionship, emotional support, or supervision. You may accompany them to medical appointments, help with household chores, manage paperwork, or coordinate formal care services. Many informal carers don’t even recognise what they do as ‘care’ because it feels so natural and is done out of love — like when you’re caring for a child with a disability. In 2023, there were an estimated 5.2 million informal care providers in the UK.
Whether you provide care for an hour or 24 hours a day, the impact on your life can be significant. In fact, 10% of informal carers are at risk of severe burnout. In this article, we’ll share some practical tips for you (or someone you know) to help manage the challenges of being an informal carer.
Caregiver relationships
Being an informal carer inevitably impacts your relationships. Most obviously, it affects your relationship with the person you care for, but it also influences your connections with your employer, colleagues, healthcare professionals, and even with yourself. Below, we’ll explore some ways to keep these relationships healthy.
Caring for yourself and the person you care for
Being an informal carer is all about caring for someone close to you. You already had a relationship with this person before they needed your help. Perhaps you are a parent and son/daughter, mother-in-law and son-in-law, partners, friends, or neighbours. Anyone can find themselves in a caring role. However, if you work in the care sector, there’s a higher chance people around you will expect you to take on caregiving responsibilities when a loved one needs help. Becoming a carer can change the dynamic of your relationship with the person you care for, which can be challenging for both of you. It can also be emotionally tough to witness a loved one’s decline.
Here are some tips to help you cope with these challenges:
● Give each other time: Adjusting to a new caregiving dynamic requires patience and open dialogue. Set aside moments to discuss your feelings about the changes, including likes and dislikes. Be honest about your emotions and encourage the care recipient to do the same.
● Try to embrace the change: Rather than resisting changes in abilities, adapt your approach to maintain quality of life. For example, if walking becomes difficult for the care recipient, embrace mobility aids like wheelchairs for outings. This flexible mindset helps both you and the care recipient navigate challenges more easily.
● Enjoy shared activities: Find activities that bring joy to both parties. While considering the needs of the person receiving care, don’t neglect your own interests. Discovering common ground in hobbies can strengthen your bond and provide much-needed relaxation.
● Reach out to your support network: Recognise that caregiving isn’t limited to just you – family and friends can play valuable roles too. Think of ways in which your support network can help out and lighten your heavy workload.
Balancing informal care with professional care
Often, informal care is complemented by professional care. As an informal carer, you may be the interpreter between this professional and the care recipient. This relationship can be difficult, for example, when you or the person receiving care has a different view on how care should be provided than the care professional. Below, we’ll explore some tips for developing an enhanced relationship with the healthcare professional.
What can you do to have a good relationship with the healthcare professional?
● Communicate regularly: Keep in touch with the healthcare professional and try to understand each other’s perspectives. You can prepare for these conversations together with the person you care for.
● Bring support to important meetings: If you have a significant meeting with a healthcare professional, consider taking someone you trust with you. Two pairs of ears can catch more, especially when emotions are involved.
● Seek support from informal care specialists: Professional informal care services can help you navigate interactions with healthcare professionals effectively.
● If you’re both a carer and a healthcare professional: Balancing these two roles can be particularly challenging. Do you relate to the other healthcare professionals as a neighbour or family member, or do you approach it as a fellow professional? There’s no right or wrong answer here, but being mindful of this dual role can help you manage the situation better.
Balancing your personal life with informal care
Alongside your caring responsibilities, it’s important to remember that you still have your own life to live. Informal care likely impacts how much time and energy you have left for yourself and for your other loved ones. That’s why it’s crucial to take care of yourself and avoid becoming overwhelmed:
● Make time for yourself: While this may sound simple, it’s often not easy. Even if it means cutting back on the time you spend caring, it’s important to prioritise your well-being. Neither you, the person you care for, nor those around you will benefit if you become overwhelmed. Make sure you get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and maintain a healthy diet. This is crucial for every informal carer, but even more so if you also work in healthcare.
● Stay connected socially: Don’t neglect your other social connections. Understandably, your mind might be elsewhere, but spending time with friends and family can give you a much-needed break from your worries and stress.
● Express your emotions: Informal care is not easy, and it can be emotionally draining. Don’t bottle up your feelings. It’s important to be open with yourself, your friends and family, and even with the person you’re caring for.
● Ask for help from those around you: You are not alone in this. Reach out to your network when things get too much. People are often more than willing to lend a hand.
● Seek additional support: According to the State of Caring Survey, 27% of unpaid carers have poor or very poor mental well-being. This increases to 31% for those who care for more than 50 hours a week or more than 10 years. That’s why reaching out to organisations such as Humanitas, Carers Trust, and local carer support groups is essential for receiving practical and emotional help. Additionally, as an informal carer, you can apply for respite care. This allows for temporary substitute care so you can take a well-deserved break.
Balancing work and caring responsibilities
It is estimated that 5 million people juggle work and care in the UK – 1 in 7 in every workplace – and this figure is set to increase. Given the stresses and strains that can result from balancing work and caring, seeking support is essential. Some informal carers choose to keep their situation private at work, fearing it might burden colleagues or negatively impact their careers. But being open about your responsibilities is often the best approach.
Here are some tips:
● Make your situation discussable: Organisations like Carers UK offer advice on how to approach these conversations. If your manager and colleagues are aware of your caregiving duties, you’re more likely to receive understanding and flexibility.
● Recognise your strengths: Being a carer makes you a better employee and colleague. It demonstrates that you are loyal, caring, adaptable, and responsible — valuable qualities in any workplace.
● Be proactive: If you need adjustments at work to manage your caregiving role, communicate this early. Whether it’s working fewer hours, more remote working, or greater flexibility with your schedule, speak up about what would help you.
● If you face resistance: Should you encounter difficulties, consider bringing in an independent mediator to help resolve the situation during further discussions.
● Keep evaluating: Stay in regular contact with your supervisor and colleagues. Let them know how you’re coping and ask for their feedback too. This ensures everyone is on the same page and can support one another effectively.
● Know your rights: You can contact organisations like Carers UK to learn about your workplace rights as a carer.
Moving forward
Informal caregiving is a journey that can be both rewarding and challenging. By maintaining open communication, prioritising self-care, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate this role more effectively. Remember, your efforts make a significant difference in the life of your loved one. While it’s not always easy, with the right approach and resources, you can find balance and fulfilment in your caregiving role. Need extra guidance? Consider booking a 1:1 session with an OpenUp psychologist.
