You probably know the feeling. You’re staring at something you can’t quite do yet — a new skill, a tricky task, a challenge that feels bigger than your abilities. Maybe it’s learning something new at work. Maybe it’s trying a hobby you’ve always avoided. Maybe it’s getting feedback that hits a bit too close.
And your brain goes straight to:
“I’m not good at this.”
“I’ll never get it right.”
“This just isn’t me.”
Most of us have been there. It’s very human to step into a new situation and instantly measure ourselves against a version of perfection no one asked for. But that moment — the uncomfortable one, where you feel unsure, clumsy or slightly exposed, is exactly where growth begins. In this article, OpenUp psychologist Madelief Falkmann explore what a growth mindset actually is, how it develops, where it’s misunderstood, and how you can practise it in small, realistic ways.
What is a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is the belief that you can learn, develop and improve through effort, support and practice. In her book Mindset, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, Carol Dweck, introduced the terms growth mindset and fixed mindset. She argues that the way you look at your own skills and talents largely determines how they develop.
”People with a growth mindset are motivated to keep learning, get energy from difficult tasks and don’t give up easily when things get tough. They don’t see change as something scary but as a learning challenge.” explains Madelief.
The opposite is seen in people with a fixed mindset. They often prefer to focus on what they can already do, stay in their comfort zone, and, as a result, more often stagnate in their development.
“Many people develop a fixed mindset simply because we grow up being taught that we should stay the same,” Madelief explains.
Having or not having a growth mindset is rarely all-or-nothing. Most of us fall somewhere in between and shift depending on the situation. You might have a growth mindset at work, for example, but feel more fixed when it comes to relationships, creativity or trying something completely new
As Carol Dweck says: “Are you not smart enough to solve the problem, or have you just not solved it yet?” It’s all in the power of believing you can improve.
Practical tips for developing your growth mindset
We hear a lot about growth these days: optimise yourself, level up, push harder, do more. It can feel like yet another thing to prove or perfect. But the truth is, you don’t need to overhaul your life or become a different person to build a growth mindset. It’s not about constantly hustling or forcing positivity. Instead, growth is built in the small, very ordinary moments where you give yourself enough space and grace to try again.
1. Notice the story you’re telling yourself
Most fixed-mindset moments begin with a quiet internal narrative. The “I can’t”, “I’m bad at this”, “everyone else is ahead of me” soundtrack that plays in the background of your mind. These thoughts usually have roots in the past: school experiences, harsh feedback you once took to heart, or moments that shaped what you believe about yourself.
💡 Try this:
The next time you hear that familiar script, pause and gently label the thought for what it is: a story, not a fact. Practise telling yourself: “This is the story my mind jumps to when I feel unsure.” That small shift helps your brain step out of autopilot and gives you room to reframe your thoughts.
2. Take things one step at a time
Most challenges feel overwhelming because we look at them as one giant, insurmountable task. Our brains struggle to process such a large challenge, so it will default to avoidance to protect you.
When you make something smaller, your mind stops panicking about the whole mountain and starts focusing on the next stone. It becomes easier to begin, easier to stay with it, and easier to see the progress you’re making — which naturally builds confidence.
💡 Try this:
When a task feels overwhelming, pause and ask yourself what the smallest, most doable version of it looks like right now. Something you could start without dread. When you find that level, begin there.
3. Treat discomfort as a normal part of growth
Growing and learning something new rarely feels smooth. It’s awkward, slow, and uncertain. For many people, especially those who grew up avoiding mistakes or fearing criticism, discomfort automatically feels like failure.
“Personally, I find it nerve-wracking when I have to give presentations in English,” says Madelief. ““In those moments, I always notice two urges. One is to avoid the discomfort completely by asking a colleague to take over — which keeps me safe, but also keeps me stuck. The other is to do it anyway, even though my brain is telling me I’m not good enough. Each time I practise, prepare, and get through it, I’m reminded that discomfort is part of learning. It doesn’t feel pleasant, but it does help me grow.”
Do things always go perfectly? Of course not. But they don’t have to. When we aim for perfection, we make the experience far more stressful than it needs to be. What matters is staying with the process long enough to learn something from it. When it’s over, you often realise: “I did something new today.” And next time, you’ll carry just a little more confidence into the moment.
4. Let people support your growth
Growth rarely happens in isolation. Sometimes we need someone else to help us see what we’re capable of, especially when our own self-doubt is loud. A supportive colleague, friend or therapist can offer perspective, encouragement or simply the reassurance that you don’t have to figure everything out alone.
💡 Try this:
If you’re facing something that feels bigger than you, share it with someone you trust before your mind talks you out of it. Sometimes a grounded voice is the safety cue your brain needs to take the next step.
6. Shift from “I can’t” to “I can’t yet”
When we’re stuck in a fixed mindset, it’s easy for challenges to feel final or defining — as if not being able to do something right now means you’ll never be able to. Adding “yet” can gently interrupt that pattern. It doesn’t pretend the task is suddenly easy. It simply reminds your brain that skills develop over time, and that not knowing how to do something today doesn’t say anything about what’s possible with practice, support or patience. It keeps the door open instead of quietly closing it.
💡 Try this:
If you hear yourself saying “I can’t do this,” add “yet” and see how it lands. If it helps you breathe a little easier or feel more open to trying, keep using it.
A final thought on growth
A growth mindset can be incredibly supportive, but it has its limits, too. As Madelief explains, it’s possible to take it so far that you slip into constant self-improvement mode; always chasing the next challenge, the next achievement, the next version of yourself.
Growth isn’t meant to feel like a race. It needs pauses, stillness and reflection just as much as it needs effort and curiosity. Let yourself try new things, but also let yourself land. Notice what a challenge taught you before you rush into the next one. In short: grow, but gently, and leave space in between for your progress to settle.
